I haven't seen anybody come out in support of having these options be readily accessible at an affordable price. I'd suspect it was the same when they started carrying lube or alternative feminine hygiene products. I've seen a lot of strong negative reactions to this new product line on Twitter, anger that families should be exposed to these shameful products and be forced to have frank conversations with their kids (or, even crazier, have to redirect their kids if there isn't an age appropriate way to be forthcoming). All are topics where she needs help and has questions and otherwise would rely on other teenagers or the internet for information, which I've long enforced is not a winning plan.
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I want her to feel just as comfortable asking me about sex as she does asking about how to get rid of a pimple or wash her clothes or how to improve her bio paper. I've always told her that I'm the best resource. This also reinforced for Anna that I'm a resource. If we're not talking about all of it, we're not really talking about any of it. We need to share all facets of sexuality with our kids, not just the doom. About oral and anal sex and what that means. But then we have to be able to talk about birth control methods and options. About the emotional load that comes with sexual contact. Yes, we talk about the true risks and dangers, why teen sex is a bad idea but not as bad as unprotected teen sex and that pregnancy is a possible even with protection literally any time. It took a minute to find age- and relationship-appropriate language to use and a little brief blushing from both of us to get over the initial hump of discomfort, but I never considering being anything other than frank and honest with my teenager. There's a lot of discomfort around allowing your kids to learn that sex is nice. But there's still a lot of folks with both a heebie and a jeebie when it comes to talking to their kid about sex outside of the rules and limitation. About removing shame and fear, giving them a platform to find their own healthy relationship with their body and what it wants. There's a lot of talk in the media and society at large about teaching our kids about sex and sexuality in a different way. While I'm not used to seeing them across from the Flintstone's Chewables, there's no reason they should need to be purchased secretly, at great expense, and shipped to your house in plain brown packaging.
They aren't a secret or a source of shame. Because, while some topics got pinned to discuss at home and not in a retail setting, vibrators aren't weird. We talked about what each one would be used for, where they can go, the importance of lubricants and keeping toys clean. So, as tactfully as one can in a busy Target on a Friday night, parked in the family planning aisle, I answered them. And rather nonplussed about the fact the box was referring to them "personal massagers.” She had questions.
None of them are 14 inches long or require a marine battery. It was not, as sex toys go, anything earth-shattering. I was chugging towards the Q-Tips and peel-off face masks, looking at the vitamins and supplements shelves on the other side when Anna said, "Momma, what is that?" I discovered this as my 14-year-old daughter and I cut down a side aisle while shopping for this year's meagre list of school supplies. I recently found out that Target carries a robust line of vibrators.